


The birds and the bees

by Theonenamedafterahat



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Athos is out of fucks to give, F/M, M/M, d'Artagnan grew up on a farm, or like the 17th century version, seriously someone should've given Aramis the birds and the bees talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:25:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2165760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theonenamedafterahat/pseuds/Theonenamedafterahat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by tumblr user illustrate-her: A fic where Porthos has to tell Aramis the Facts Of Life because he genuinely did not understand that sex made babies. </p><p>Well, it isn't Porthos having to explain, but it's the best I could come up with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The birds and the bees

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this post on tumblr (http://alicialuar.tumblr.com/post/95187230504/hippity-hoppity-brigade-fox-rain-mausii)

'But it's Aramis! How can he not know?'

Athos is pretty sure that Porthos and D'Artagnan think he is asleep. After dragging them and Aramis (who is actually asleep. For all his knowledge of women, he's always been a lightweight) into the tavern, Athos had begun his mission to get as drunk as possible, which was going swimmingly, if he does say so himself.

Actually, he should probably stay away from watery metaphors. Athos has his reasons for his feigned slumber. No, reason. Singular. Singular and apparently even more trouble then Athos had realised. Sleeping with the Queen wasn't enough for this reason, _oh no_ , apparently this reason had done the deed without knowing the...consequence, of said deed. And had been doing so all his life, to the horror of the three who now know.

 _Aramis is dead to me,_ Athos swears, _and soon he will be to the rest of the world._

'Well,' Porthos is saying to D'Artagnan, 'it probably never came up. How do you know, anyway?'

Athos can almost taste the distain in D'Artagnan's voice; 'I was raised on a farm. I delivered my first foal before I started shaving.'

'Oh. So you can tell him all about it then,' Porthos grins.

'Hang on,' D'Artagnan protests, 'isn't that more your...' he gestures vaguely 'area? What with the particular insights you must have...with...Aramis?' The words trail away under the force of Porthos' glare. And alright, maybe Athos does feel a little guilty for not reminding D'Artagnan not to mention (or even hint at) his knowledge of the activities that Porthos and Aramis engage themselves with behind closed doors. 

'Fine! I'll do it.'

Porthos' grin returns. 'Good man! You can sit up now Athos. Our Gascon's taken the job.' Athos would feel ashamed, but _really_.

He can't say it isn't worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> If there's interest, I could be persuaded to write how the 'talk' would go...


End file.
